31 Day Challenge: Day 9

By: William G. Muir

So today I am suppose to talk about my worst habits. No use in drawing this out with some long winded introduction, I am just going to talk about what I see as my top 4 worst habits. Enjoy.

Too trusting: When it comes to personal matters, things that are somehow connected to myself, I can be too trusting. I don’t know why this is either. I am pretty much cynical when it comes to most things in this world, but if it somehow involves me, I will almost surely believe it. In the past I have loaned people large sums of money, even when I was warned not to. Why did I do this? Simple I did it because they were my friends and they promised to pay me back. And did they? Yes. But the point isn’t that these people paid me back. I have loaned money to other people I have known. Much smaller sums of money and a few of them never paid me back. Yet to this day if they come asking me if they could bum a few bucks off of me I would give it to them if I had it. I’m basically the guy who will give you the shirt off his back.

I use to be a shift manager for a well know fast food chain. When I was being trained as a manager I would lean on my friends heavily to try and get things done on my shift. I was young, didn’t have the first clue if what I was doing things right or not, and I was scared of messing things up. I naturally thought my friends would be more than willing to help me look good. And for the most part they did. What they also did was take advantage of having a friend in charge. I thought since they were my friends they would do what I wanted them to do just because I had asked them. It turned out that I should have been more forceful with them and led them instead of thinking they would follow on their own.

 

Too insecure: One of my biggest problems is that I can’t take a compliment. I am constantly looking for the validation, but once I get it I never buy it. Not because I think the person is lying to me, I just think they are trying to be kind. For whatever reason people think of me as a strong person, emotionally. I know this because people have often commented on this to me. I just can’t help but thinking how wrong they are. I am a wreck emotionally. I am constantly trying to get other peoples approval. There are times that I don’t like the person that I am and wish that I was somebody else entirely. To feel good about myself I will often do embarrassing things so that other people will like me.  

I think if they like me, then I might just like myself.

So I don’t think people lie to me when they are paying me a compliment. I just get them so rarely, and almost exclusively from people that I know. Even here on this blog, I feel insecure. In a short amount of time I have manage to gain a number of followers. Far more than I expected at this point, and I am grateful that you all who find my post interesting enough to come back. But no one ever leaves a comment. I at least expected to get some feedback, even if it was the you suck variety. Sure negative comments would hurt but at least I would know someone took me serious enough to make their opinion known. But the silence just makes me doubt myself and wonder if I should continue on.

Procrastinator: What can I say, other than I put things off to the last minute. Not always mind you, but I do it with enough things that it has become a pattern. And it’s not always that I put things off to the last minute. Often times if there is a long period of time meant for working on a project I will take some of that time to actually do some work on it. But it is usually only minimal work at best, maybe some kind of research. Whatever it is that I do early will be the east stuff, stuff that takes little effort at all.

The really big, really major stuff I will hold off until the last moment.

Even this post is taken a while for me to do. Which is saying a lot because I just type these things up aqnd proofread them real quick. I take very little time to see if they are grammatically correct. I have just let other things like Words With Friends, Youtube, and my rewatching all the episode of Lost get in the way.

I am not as bad as I was when I was a kid. My two sisters and myself never had chores when we were growing up. So the only things I was responsible for back then was doing my homework and studying for test. Unlike my friends, who did their homework when they first got home, I waited right before I went to bed to do my studies. Which often meant I lost out on watching tv. But those are the trade-offs you make. I still wasn’t happy about it. When I got to high school I finally convinced my mother she didn’t need to check up if I had done my work or not. This led to me sitting in the hallway right before class started trying to finish up the last three Algebra equations.

Till this day, every Sunday night, right as I am going to bed I get this feeling like I have forgotten to do something. I do believe this can be traced back to those Sunday nights back in high school when I realized I left a book at school that I should have brought home because there was homework I needed to do. Or there was a big test on Monday that I didn’t study for.

Too easy going: I’m not one for diets, I’m not one for eating health, and I’m not one for extreme exercise regimens. There are two reasons for this, 1) despite everybody’s best effort we are all going to die. You can’t cheat death. 2) You are not promised a certain amount of years to live. Sure they say life expectancy is somewhere in the 70. But that’s a best case scenario for a white person living in the first world. There are still places on this earth were people are lucky to make it 40 years old. What is it we are trying to live longer for anyways? I could see it if there was an age that if you made it to you never aged, you never got sick and your body rejuvenated itself.  But that’s not ever going to happen. What does happen instead is your body wears out. The longer you live the more that is going to go wrong with you.

I’ve people say it is our diets that are killing us. They say stuff like back in the past there were less diseases and no one ever got cancer. I don’t really buy this argument. Medical science has come a long way in the past couple hundred years. Before that people use to believe sickness was caused by evil spirits and other such nonsense. To say disease that we have today did not exist in the past is just plain stupid. We have only had the technology to diagnose disease for a short time now. And in that time the technology has improved so much that we have been able to detect even more diseases. Who knows how many misdiagnose there were because we lacked the tools to tell two very similar diseases apart. 

Also we see an up turn in diseases today because people are living longer, and more and more people are working safer jobs. How many people are alive today that would have died off in the past because their jobs were so dangerous. Not to mention that the number of wars and people killing each other are down. With longer safer lives came the increase in the likelihood that more people would comedown with some sort of disease. So better technology along with longer lives meant an increase in diseases.

What does any of this have to do with me being too laid back. It is the fact that we are all going to die that leads me to have such a cavalier attitude towards health. If your only reason to be healthy is so that you will live longer, that makes me laugh. You don’t know how long it is you are going to live. You might walk out your door tomorrow and get hit by a bus. Then all your work goes right out the window. As for me I am going to do those things that bring me joy in life. I’m going to eat that hamburger that is two feet tall and covered in so much cheese and other ingredients that it is bound to give me an instant heart attack. 

Life was meant for living, not worrying how many calories are that nonfat rice cake.

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